You Will, They Didn’t!

Well here is another youtube video of all the things that AT&T promised us what they claim would give us in the near future, as seen in the year 1993…

…Let’s look and tear these ideas a new one shall we?

The first one says.

“Have you ever borrowed a book, from a thousand miles away?”

Uh, no because none of us have that luxury…

“Crossed the country… without stopping for directions?”

Yes, it’s called being a man!

“Or send someone a fax… from the beach?”

No but with netbooks, mobile-friendly laptops and a little thing called “e-mail” it would be. By the way, seen that oversized digital pad that is what people on youtube saying could be the precursor to todays ipad? Well… one commenter says that they actually kept their promise when they made that sweetheart deal with apple for internet/phone service when the iphone and ipad came out.

Also it’s starting to really annoy me, why in the hell would people still use fax machines and numbers when email and document scanning and sending do better?

Alright, next commercial…

“Have you ever paid a toll, without slowing down?”

Yes, they are called “dead tolls” or a little technology called “ezpass” but that doesn’t work then since you still need to slow down for it to be read.

“Bought concert tickets, from cash machines?”

No, but I did see a kiosk that does that for a movie theater. But today we can do that at the safety of our homes online instead of wasting minutes ordering tickets in the same place where I could have my head bashed in by a robber.

“…Or tucked your baby in, from a phone booth?”

This is really sad because it shows another case of the too busy parent doing parent-y things when they are too absorbed in their work and also this shows another failed promise: Video Phones. Check #6 on this cracked article on why they didn’t work in the wide area while skype and webcams can do better.

Here’s numero tres!

“Have you ever opened doors, with the sound of your voice?”

Voice-recognition tech isn’t a new idea, and having it work is futuristic at least but I’m iffy on it because it doesn’t really help for those who either lost their voice or going through puberty. I rather stick with my RFID keycard or just a fucking key!

“Carried your medical history, in your wallet?”

No, but the Obama Administration and GE will carry that history for you.

“…Or attended a meeting, in your bare feet?”

GoToMeeting, Skype, Adobe’s and Acrobat and tons of other video conferencing sites can do that, AT&T failed in keeping that promise. Also in case if you’re wondering…

I’m writing this article… IN MY UNDERWEAR!

Here’s our fourth and last one!

“Have you ever watched the movie you wanted to, the minute you wanted to?”

Yes, netflix, hulu, and youtube does that for me. For TV, it’s video on demand.

“Learned special things, from far away places?”

*cough*university of phoenix/internet colleges*cough*

“…Or tucked your bab…” *record scratch*

Alright, I already did that one.

The point I’m making here is that you really can’t expect one corporation to do everything they advertise.


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